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May 27th, 2012
03:33 am - No, I don't need to go back to church
"Moral decline follows shortly after spiritual decline." This quote has been haunting me lately.
Because I feel it happening... No big, dramatic changes, but subtle ones. And still, I feel no guilt. No remorse. Just liberated, and relieved that those rules and expectations no longer applies to me. I will never allow anyone to impose that on me again. Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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May 20th, 2012
04:47 pm - Joys of wetlands
Apologies for the hiatus on this blog. I can give the usual excuses like
1. Too swamped with work
2. Nothing to write about BUT, we all know the power of laziness and the stronghold of 'lazy surfing', where you just go online and is compelled to do nothing but read articles and watch stupid YouTube videos... Yeah, thats my reason for not getting around with blogging. Anyway the above picture was taken at the edithvale wetlands, the topic of my project video. I've always been enthralled by the silhouette of trees and branches against the sky- any kind of skies- blue skies, cloudy skies, sunset streaked skies... I just find it beautifully atmospheric, the stark contrast between spindly wood and soft hues. Granted, my video is gonna contain abit of that :) Can't wait to edit this baby, seriously... Oh, but how quickly time flies! It's already week 12, the last week of class... THE LAST WEEK OF MY BACHELOR DEGREE!!! Wow... I've been living in Melbourne for almost 3 years. It seems like just yesterday I was feeling so nervous on the plane, excited yet very scared about my new life. And now, I can't call it my new life anymore. It's been an amazing experience, and I would definitely want to blog about that before I leave. Anyways, speaking of blogging... I actually have a lot of things I want to talk about. But I never got around doing it! Wah... I look down on myself. Shall set a goal to write at least one substantial post each week :) Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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May 5th, 2012
10:43 pm - Love like you've never been hurt
"Take a chance because when you love like you have never been hurt or live like you have never been hurt. It's not about trusting that you won't fail or the other person won't hurt you or you won't get fired or fall on your face. It's trusting that you will not break.
You and I are made of bigger stuff than that."
Yes :)
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May 4th, 2012
10:35 pm - Self motivation
Sometimes when I start to think about all the things that need to be done, it gets pretty overwhelming to the point that it paralyses you. But when you actually write those things down and break them up into smaller tasks, it seems alright. Decided to be my own cheerleader this lonely Friday night. Three more weeks and I can take a break! Jiayou jingwei! I shall stop procrastinating now and proceed with this essay :D Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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May 3rd, 2012
02:33 pm
I don't want to do anything today.
It's cold outside, raining to boot. Grey clouds. I have a lavender candle burning.
My bed is warm, and so are my feet in fluffy socks. My journal is by my bedside and I just want to write and write and write until my hand falls off. Or at least I unravel the thoughts in my head, threaded tightly into a ball of yarn. I don't even want to look at my planner.
Yet- YET- I still have to contact more people who are interested in getting a PR through a marriage fraud. I don't know how to continue doing this research to be frank. The other day, Jiayun asked "Why don't you just write on massage parlours with happy endings? Why make your life so difficult?" I don't know. I really don't know why. I thought it was an interesting topic, commercial marriages, and that I'd have fun researching it.
It IS fun. Don't get me wrong. But right now I just don't know how to continue the fun. And I can't help but think my desire for this sort of fun is going to get me a bad grade for investigative reporting. Or maybe, I'm just not very good at having fun. It's also not fun when you don't get replies.
Not to mention- two research essays need to be written. One about the validity of encouraging forgiveness in conflict resolution policy. The other about... I don't even know which topic to write about. Maybe Iran's offer to the US in 2003? China and Taiwan's riff-raffs?
My presentation about India's foreign policy. Heh, still unmade. Like my bed.
Plus, 20 hours taken away each week to do work for Warcry.
Youthcentral articles still unedited, unwritten.
I just don't feel like doing anything today. But if there's anything I've learnt, you can't always do what you like. Life doesn't work that way. Perhaps because...life knows better than us.
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April 21st, 2012
12:46 am - Grampians Easter (updated)
Before I begin on the awesome Grampians trip, let just say how TIRED MY EYES ARE from staring at the computer screen all day long. This was how today went:
- Woke up, played Tiny Wings on iPhone to FULLY wake myself up
- Feel truly awake. Turned on computer.
- Read abit of manga.
- Read the documents for my assignment. Moaned.
- Looked around my room and realised how messy it was. Moaned some more and posted Facebook status that friends could relate to.
- Bought lunch. Read manga while eating.
- Proceeded to do my work. Painful.
- Finished my work. Went for a stroll to meet my lover- Coles Supermarket.
- Decided not to buy anything at Coles, despite a $2 discount on a large can of Sirena Tuna. Suppressed my excitement and told myself that I have yet to reach to suitable age for such Auntie behaviour.
- Bought Maccas and finished my manga
- Made fun of my sister on Whatsapp, couldn't stop laughing while drinking apple cider.
- Watched Fullmetal Alchemist.
- Chatted with a friend on Facebook. Ate the popcorn my housemate brought home.
- Played Tiny wings. Got annoyed that I couldn't beat my high score.
- Proceeded to blog.
That's how I roll on a Friday night.
Okay, so Grampians trip was awesome! I ran into trouble a week before the trip because I couldn't get the full refund from cancelling our accomodation (because I stupidly booked it on the wrong weekend and only realised after the confirmation!) I even considered not going for the trip in order to save the money I lost...but I went in the end anyway.
Jiayun handled the accomodation issue in the end, and booked us a lovely country cottage. Katie's Cottage :) It's located near the road, but surrounded by yellow fields with a scattering of sheeps and llamas who don't like humans.
Our lovely backyard :)
The Grampians is a four hour drive from Melbourne CBD, even further away than Ballarat. Along the way, you'll pass by a few small towns where you can get groceries (please get them there, it's cheaper) and toilet breaks. Like this one:
The Town Hall of Ararat, one of the small towns along the way.
Here's some pictures of Halls Gap, a road with rows of shops. You can get food here.
But don't shop in their grocery store. Total rip off. $6 for a can of Pringles and they sell expired Pancake mix. The stance says it all!
We went to a few places, but I just want to talk about two in this post because I'm not using Photobucket to post pictures (I know right, can you imagine?)
McKenzie Falls is a great attraction. The falls are wedged between mountains, so you have to take a walk down steep steps and slopes. Once you work your way down, you're rewarded with a nice view of the falls.
Me being very happy, haha!
It's a popular attraction, so we had to jostle with other tourists to take pictures. Surrounding the falls are piles of rocks which you can climb onto and take photos so you can look cool. As for me, I wasn't very confident of my climbing skills so I planted my feet firmly on the ground.
I have no idea why we were squatting down.
My favourite attraction has to be the Pinacle, a lookout that requires you to do some moderate hiking for an hour to reach (rest stops included). We almost didn't go because it was so cold and it had started to drizzle, which meant the rocks may be slippery and wet. But after seeing kids and grannies descend from their hike, we decided to stop being a bunch of pussies.
Moses takes a break.
Along the way, there's this cool part where we had to squeeze through a crevice with wooden steps.
Heh, true blue city folks we are... finding it exciting to be jammed between rocks.
And this was the rewarding view!
Despite the face, I really enjoyed the scenery.
C'mon, it was freezing!
Adrian and Clement basking in the cold and wondering how their bodily remains would look like if they fell to their death.
I think the Grampians have ignited a love for hiking in me. Well, I've always loved walking and mountains , so no surprises there. If I ever complained while walking at Bukit Timah Hill, that's because I hate the heat, not the exercise. At least in the cold, you can pile on the sweaters and along the way your body heats up and it gets more comfortable.
Although I the outdoor activities were fun, I really enjoyed our nights staying in the cottage too! It was pretty much all about the junk food, alcohol, playing games that ALWAYS ALWAYS end up with Truth or Dare and talking nonsense.
Clement had to drink the milky concoction called the King Cup. Brave soul!
We had a pretty awesome Jenga tower! I never paid much attention to this game but now I love it! Really want to buy one in Singapore so our family can play it together :)
We had some game meat during the trip: crocodile, emu sausage, duck breast (uhh, not that exotic I think) and kangaroo. Crocodile meat, according to Jiayun the health expert, is the most protein packed meat out there. It's also very tough and chewy. I generally like meat so I enjoyed all of them :)
Sigh, all these food pictures remind me of the food blog that's been untouched since a year ago. I should really spend more time blogging, even for this Livejournal one. My innate laziness can be quite annoying (excuses) but like all procrastination related problems, you just gotta start and everything will flow into place!
Anyway, that was the highlight of my Easter break. The rest of the week was highly unproductive...but I can afford to be so this semester. Just for a little while :)
I do miss home though, and everyone back in Singapore :( The other day, my sister whatsapped me pictures of Baby Kate's baby shower at Food for Thought. That's one of the downsides of studying overseas- you miss out on the growth of young children in the family. Thankfully these days, Facebook helps you keep track of the happenings back home :) I love social media.
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April 2nd, 2012
11:00 pm - Do it anyway
It is a dog eat dog world out there. Still, you can choose to be different.
Don't succumb to expectations. Expectations are nothing. It's bull. You can be so much more than what's expected of you.
I'm in the midst of revamping my wordpress blog, which is a journalism portfolio. I want to add more categories and content specifically for the website. The URL is leejwei.wordpress.com. Stay tuned!
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April 1st, 2012
09:48 am - Chonny
After years of treating Youtube as a replacement for TV, Chonny is still the funniest shithead out there. Check these out!
Laughed my ass off.
He lives in Melbourne but I've never met him before. Apparently I heard he stays in Chadstone or something. A few weeks ago, I thought I saw someone that looked like him at uni, surrounded by those loud, boisterous ABC boys (which is what he is himself) but I was in a hurry for class, haha!
Anyway Chonny is loud, rude, immature, crazy, crude and if I knew him personally in real life I would totally abhor him. However, you gotta admit he's hilarious on his videos. He's one of those Youtubers with multiple channels, and my favourites are his vlog channel (chonnyday) and his gaming channel, because he makes the funniest commentary!
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March 27th, 2012
08:57 pm - I don't want to grow up!
My sleeping companions.
I don't want to grow up! Common outcry from my peers, I know. It's just that I never imagined myself thinking it, let alone saying it. Considering how I've never been one to shirk my responsibilities, never been afraid of taking up new ones either, and I rationally weigh my options everyday so as to not waste my life away... I just never saw growing up as something I'd abhor! In fact, adulthood was always something I looked forward to- earning your own money, relentlessly pursuing your own career, having your words taken seriously by other adults (except your own parents, they will never take what you say seriously because in their eyes you will always be their baby whom they expect to respond maturely to their immaturity) and perhaps, PERHAPS, being rich enough to buy your own apartment.
Heck, I was SOOOO EXCITED for adulthood that I even conceived a 15-20 year plan to adopt a black baby. I even got Nathanael to ask his lawyer mum about adoption laws in Singapore. And THAT'S how forward looking I am! Making plans to write a bestseller on spinsterhood and to adopt, just in case my ovaries aren't in working condition by the time I'm ready to be a parent. Can somebody shout O-L-D???
Yes, I was excited for adulthood. Until now.
Lately I've been feeling very old. My motivation to do well in school has dropped exponentially. The well of wanderlust has dried up. I pass by quirky cafes and restaurants without that pulsing urge to try it. I get upset when Coles run out of half-cauliflowers. I ask my students questions about their assignment progress, and nothing they say gets into my head and stays. I lift up my shirt and check my belly every morning to see if it has grown, or shrunk (the answer: neither). I check the calorie count when I buy a chocolate bar, and then choose the dark chocolate kit kat because it has less sugar than the normal one (even though I like the normal one!). I use Olay.
And most of all, I feel sad EVERY SINGLE FUCKING NIGHT without fail. Because I start thinking that my life is never going to be more remarkable and exciting than it is now. It makes me wonder if I will be happy in the future. Then I realised that all I want right now is to be happy.
Then I read weird Buddhist quotes on some website making your own happiness in life. Very zen and all, but it makes me feel old! No offense to Buddhists.
Then I'll recall a friend telling me that I have no confidence in myself as woman. Which honestly, makes me feel inadequate. Like I'm half female and half something else. I have confidence in myself as a daughter, a friend, a student... but not as a woman. It makes me feel like I HAVE to grow up now. Because come August, I'm going to be Twenty Two! And that's a womanly age right? Twenty fucking two, even though I still see myself as 18. I still call myself a girl instead of a woman. The latter is just too... far out.
I don't want to grow up, but I'm starting to feel the changes.
I don't want to grow up, because I'm afraid that I will turn into someone unrecognizable. Someone I see in the mirror who will cause me to frown in distaste. That she will be someone caught in the trappings of adulthood, subjected to peer pressure that adults face. I've emerged out of my teen hood unscathed by (or rather, oblivious to) peer pressure. Will I, as an adult, possess such resilience?
And then I thought... screw this shit.
To say "I don't want to grow up!" is to lock yourself in a psychological cage of reality denial. It's going to happen, whether you like it or not.
I will grow up. But I'll do so according to my terms and my pace. I will not 'grow out of something', or 'grow to like something' just because I'm expected to do so at my age. A beacon of wisdom I'm not, but I'm pretty mature for my age and I make good decisions for myself.
Sorry if this post feels fragmented. I'm not very lucid at expressing innermost thoughts on a public space these days. Have obviously grown out of the emo-teen blogger phase.
And turtle doodle says "Ole!"
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March 25th, 2012
11:05 pm
I need to spice up my life.
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